To get the most benefit from this piece, I would advise you to print it out, read it, and keep it for reference.

Christians cause unnecessary problems for themselves when they don't sort out the important things in their lives into the right order. Our God is a God who creates things in order, at the right times and in the right places (Gen.1&2), and if we want to live without unnecessary suffering we need to know what His priorities are in our lives. There is a kind of suffering that He intends us to live through, but there is also suffering that is unnecessary. This kind of suffering is caused because we are not following the Maker's instructions and so are using our bodies and spirits in the wrong way.
Hugh O'Connor of the Association of Biblical Counsellors (now closed), a lovely Christian man and a church pastor gave this teaching to me. I have passed it on to many people who have found it helpful. I believe it contains the most fundamental and helpful lessons for living the Christian life, because it is totally Biblical.
The Priorities are ordered into 7 headings: 1.God, 2.Spouse, 3.Children, 4.Job and Ministry, 5.Parents, 6. People, 7.Rest and Recreation. This order is not arbitrary, it is God-ordained, as the Bible references show.

Number One: GOD
Firstly, God must be in the centre of our lives. He must sit on the throne of our hearts, minds and wills, because it is only when He is ruling our lives that we can begin to experience "the peace that passes all understanding." This principle is the first and great commandment, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength," Deut. 6:5. Jesus reiterates this commandment in Mark 12:30, and in verse 31 adds, "You shall love your neighbour as yourself." When God is in our hearts, ruling our lives, things begin to happen to us and for us. He can continue His work of sanctification in us, and His Holy Spirit will bless others through us.
If we dislodge Him from that place, we commit sin, but often we do this without even knowing it! For this reason, many Christians practice putting Him on the throne of their lives every morning by means of a simple prayer of self-dedication asking Him to rule their lives for the remainder of the day.
If God is not on the throne ruling our lives, then something else will be sitting there! Adam and Eve, when they disobeyed His instructions in the Garden of Eden, were the first to commit this sin. People worship all sorts of idols when God is dislodged from His throne in our hearts. These idols are often things that are good in themselves, such as spouses, children, careers and jobs, food, even Christian ministry. But if they are put first in our lives, they will cause trouble resulting from the sin of idolatry. May God keep us from this sin.

Number Two: OUR HUSBANDS AND WIVES
God intends that our spouses are the second in importance after Him. God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone, I will make him a helper fit for him," and he created Eve to be Adam's wife. Genesis 2:18 and 2:24 emphasise that this is the 'one flesh' relationship. The union is meant to be lifelong and faithful, and the order is God first, my spouse second. It should never be reversed, and no other human being should ever attempt to break into that union to separate husband and wife. No one should ever try to dislodge this order either, because marital pain and conflict will inevitably follow. This is a sin that men are particularly prone to, but if a man puts his work before his wife, she will suffer, and the marriage could break down eventually. Many employers nowadays demand this sort of dedication from their employees, but it is a sin against God and against the spouse. New Testament teaching about marriage is found in Ephesians 5: 22 to 25.

Number Three: OUR CHILDREN
Women are particularly prone to sinning by putting their children first before their husbands, and before God. This is a very common cause of marital breakdown nowadays. When a woman marries, she makes a public statement of commitment to her husband, and in a Christian marriage this commitment is for life and to her husband alone. She makes no such commitment to her children; they just come along as a natural result of the marriage, and a gift of God (Genesis 33: 5). Children are to be loved, nurtured and helped by both parents until they are old enough to leave and become independent. Loving parents provide the necessary role models for their children, who learn parenting skills from their own parents. Children always remain a product of the marriage, and parents always retain responsibility for them to some extent. As they grow older they become less dependent, but parents always have the right to advise their children, and children, especially in a Christian family, should respect their parents' advice, even when they become parents of their own children. Adult children relate to their parents as adults, and are able to reason with one another. Colossians 3: 18 to 21 contains teaching about the duties of family members to one another.

Number Four: JOB AND MINISTRY
This is where people with a Christian ministry tend to trip up. We have to understand and keep separate our personal relationship with God, which is the most important thing in life, and the work and service we give Him, which only ranks as the fourth most important!
If a man puts his job or his Christian ministry before his family he will eventually find that he has lost what he has worked hardest for. Employers, especially in the 1990s, will hire and fire people with no compassion, because they put profitability and their shareholders first before their employees. If a man dedicates his life to his job, he will find his life is empty and pointless when he retires. This leads to depression, even suicide. God ordains paid employment as a means of supporting the family, and contributing to the greater good of the Church and the world. People with a Christian ministry must be careful not to put their work first. It is so easy to confuse these two priorities, and it takes practice to discern the difference.
An employer deserves the respect and work of his employees. Christian employees will ensure that they give their employers a fair day's work for a fair day's pay, without shirking or stealing the time and tools employers give them to work with. Ensuring fairness can be very difficult, particularly in this day and age. One tool to do this may be belonging to a trade union or professional organization. Another is being willing and able to keep up to date with one's professional or trade skills. The Biblical verses relating to masters and servants are mostly found in Paul's letters, especially Ephesians 6: 5&6, and 1 Timothy 6:1. Don't forget that Paul had two jobs: he was an Apostle of the Gospel, and also worked as a tentmaker to earn his own keep. He is a good role model for us.

Number Five: PARENTS
Why do parents come after work in our list of priorities? It is because parents are responsible for providing their own income for their needs, for retirement and for burial expenses. Adult children relate to their parents as adults, but they still owe them the honour that is due to them in the sixth commandment. (Exodus 20:12) The word 'honour' includes respect and care. Ephesians 6:1-4 gives New Testament teaching about family relationships. Single people are under the Biblical authority of their parents until marriage, but parents should be honoured throughout life.
If parents become incapacitated or ill, then they will need our help, of course. The amount of help depends upon how dependent they are, it may be necessary for their children to take complete control of their lives and finances in order to them to be cared for, which could mean residential care.
These priorities are written for married people - for single people they may different, because parents are the closest relatives single people have. A single person still needs to provide an income for herself (it is usually a woman!), but may choose to give up work to care for an elderly parent if it is financially possible. Single people particularly feel the burden of looking after elderly parents on their own and it should be possible to work out compromises with other siblings, and nowadays the social services will help with care.

Number Six: EVERYONE ELSE: Sisters, Brothers, Relatives, Neighbours, Friends and Enemies
In Matthew 12:48-50, Jesus says, "Who is My mother and who are My brothers?" And He stretched out His hand towards His disciples and said, "Here are My mother and brothers. For whoever does the will of My Father in Heaven is my brother and sister and mother." We are commanded to love others as we love ourselves, even when they seem most unloveable. Someone once said, "God doesn't have good taste - He loves everybody!"
People are individuals and do not easily fit into a category of their own, they fit better into some of the other categories, depending on how close the relationship is, or what sort of relationship it is. For instance, they may be prioritised in 'Work and Ministry', if they need counselling and care. At other times they may come under 'Rest and Recreation', when sharing sports, fellowship or a chat together. Sometimes a friend may be one's only family, and may be spiritually 'adopted' in a relationship of brotherhood or sisterhood, especially long-term friends who live together as a family. It is good to be able to analyse our relationships with some friends, as two friends can prioritise one another completely differently, and each can have very different expectations of the friendship! This can lead to real problems.
Neighbours and more distant relatives may also be prioritised differently at different times, as friends are. There will be times when their needs are urgent and demanding, but at other times they will take lower priority. For instance, an aged, incapacitated aunt may be prioritised alongside 'parents' if she depends on you for her needs of daily living; an orphaned nephew may be prioritised with one's own children. A next-door neighbour who has just come out of hospital will need some input from you in 'work and ministry', but neighbours who continually call and rob you of your time with gossip will get a low priority, you have to be firm with them.
What about enemies? With some friends you don't need them it is said! The Lord said we are to love our enemies, that means praying for them, protecting ourselves from them, and doing good to them. They, too may fit into 'work and ministry', but sometimes they can be members of ones own household, and must be prioritised accordingly. If a Christian man falls out with a close relative, that relationship is still God-ordained, he may not divorce his wife, children, or parents. This is a big subject and needs a whole article of its own. I hope to produce one later.

Number Seven: REST AND RECREATION
We all need it and God has ordained it (Exodus 20: 8 to 11). We need rest to revitalise ourselves, hobbies to keep our minds healthy, and exercise to keep our bodies healthy. Children do all their growing while they are asleep! Rest and recreation can take place at any time when we are not concerned with more important things, but the Sabbath is God's special gift to us.
The Sabbath is not the day to do DIY, or shopping, or washing the car. It is the day for reading (the Bible and Christian literature), attending church and worshipping God, listening to music, walking the dog, reading the Sunday papers, etc. The Lord has ordained that we should work six days, and for most Christian people nowadays it means five days of paid employment, leaving Saturday to do those DIY jobs.
There are some necessary exceptions to this rule, summed up, as one person put it, as "urgent acts of mercy and charity." So, if people have to work shifts to help others (nurses, policemen, essential maintenance staff), the Lord will bless them if they work on the Sabbath, if they remember to keep another day in the week as a Sabbath, and have that time of rest and renewal and worship of God. And any act of charity or mercy which is not urgent, should be put off until a weekday. I personally believe that getting the harvest in before it rains is urgent and may be done on the Sabbath, but not if it can be safely left dry till Monday! I don't want to get into an argument about sports on Sundays here, everyone should be convinced in his own mind whether what he does is right with the Lord.

AND FINALLY....
The order of these priorities is that the most important come first. So, when someone is under a time of great stress and pressure, it is particularly useful to think about these Biblical priorities and meditate on them with prayer for the Lord's help. The most difficult dilemmas are when two or more priorities clash. As an example, suppose a woman's husband forbids her to go to church or to work in Christian ministry (it happens!). The Biblical guide is that she should put her husband before her job and ministry. However, it also means that she must put God first in her heart before her husband. This entails some serious heart searching and analysis to discern the interface between worshipping God and service for Him. The Lord will honour the woman who honours her husband, and He will provide her with opportunities for service in a way that is agreeable to Him and to the husband and wife. The sacrifice of a willing heart is acceptable to the Lord. The wife should continue to love and pray for her husband, including that he may change his mind if it is the Lord's will. She could have her own private time of worship if she is forbidden to go to church, and will find openings for Christian love and service in her family and community. God is with us even in our frustration and perplexity, and He uses frustration and perplexity(!) for our own good and the good of those around us.

I hope you have found this 'little homily' of benefit. When I was first taught it, I had a number of objections, but practice and living with the Lord has proved it to be right over and over again. Please don't think that I am claiming to be perfect myself or that I have 'got there', but when you know what your priorities are, you are relieved of the burden of worry about things; you can sort you life into order and most importantly you can rest in that 'peace of God which passes all understanding'.
I hope and pray that the Lord will bless you with these truths as He has blessed me.

Please feel free to email me if you have questions or objections, and I will do my best to answer them.
menorot.